Why your Holiness matters to your marriage

Would you consider yourself a Holy Wife? Did you know that we as wives are called to holiness in serving our husbands and that in doing so we can restore any brokenness in our marriages?

I want to share with you something God had put on my heart a long while ago, that I had not understood at the time of him showing me this, but then after looking back almost a year later and applying it to my life I can now see the fruit of it and I want to share this with you other Kingdom Wifes out there!  So join me on this journey that the Lord has been taking me through as we explore Titus 2 and how we are called to become Kingdom Wifes in the Kingdom of God and if you are not a wife, I am still sure you will enjoy it just the same!

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

Titus 2:3-5   KJV

The main focus for this part of Kingdom Wife will be “that they be in behavior as becometh holiness”.  So One of the Greek definitions for Holy is to be set apart, and as kingdom wives, we are called to be set apart in our behavior towards our husbands,  because it is an example of how we are to love, honor and submit to the Lord “in” our marriage.

man in black coat sitting while kissing woman

Wifes, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Just as the Lord God desires in our actions to be set apart (holy) from the world, so does He desire that our actions and behavior towards our husbands also be set apart (holy) from those of the world, because we truly are an example of what it is to serve the Lord in our marriage.  I know this is hard to understand, but if you will see that in our marriage how we serve our husbands is truly how we serve the Lord in our hearts.  And I know many of you may be thinking that this cannot possibly be true, trust me I am right there with you… or I was until God kept correcting me on this and showing me the truth in the matter!

To become holy before the Lord God, we must submit ourselves as in our flesh, to become the image of Christ, because only through Christ Jesus can we become holy before the Lord God, it is through the blood of Jesus Christ that we are sanctified as holy.

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ        Galations 3:27

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.                                                                      1 Peter 1:15-16

So to realize how to be holy is to first, in my opinion, realize that apart from Jesus we are nothing but sin and death (Romans 8:10), but with Jesus Christ and His blood as our redemption we become holy in the eyes of God (Hebrews 10:10)and have life and live it more abundantly (John 10:10). So with this as the focal point of our understanding, we can then begin to even have a fighting chance at becoming a holy wife in behavior to our husbands and family in our homes.   Now the question is this, how do we now walk this out and what would that look like on a daily basis?

My answer to this is simple, when you begin to seek God in all things and put His kingdom and His righteousness first in your life, all these things in your marriage that you seek even in yourself will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33-34) and out of the love and admiration you show to your heavenly Father, it will begin to be imparted onto your husband and the rest of your household and all you have to do is seek God first in all you do.  I know at first this may seem hard and the enemy “will” try to make this harder than it seems to do this every day, but I plead that you to fight through the thoughts of the enemy, for they are not your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8), now that you are a child of God and have put to death the old self you now have the mind of Christ who dwells in you, so please do not allow the lies of the enemy to become you.   Do not believe every thought that pops into your head and thinks it is your thought, always subject every thought to the obedience of Christ.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:  (For our weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ, and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.                       2 Corinthians 10:3-6

When I began to follow this scripture above and actually apply it to my daily life, I had realized how quickly the enemy lost his territory in my thoughts, and how I was rapidly gaining back my obedience to Christ in serving and loving my husband, as well as being a more patience and loving mother to my son.  I know first hand that seeking the Kingdom of God first and His righteousness and subjecting every single tiny little thought that pops up in my head to the obedience of Christ has helped me so much in becoming  that holiness behavior or in the NKJ version the word is reverent in behavior, which is when you have great awe and respect for someone in such a way that you worship them.

Now I want to stop your mind right there in its tracks because I know that a thought of you worshiping your husband is far from what you think of when being a wife… but keep in mind this little note:

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:  Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:  whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.   1 Peter 3:5-6

This scripture says so much already, and I have taken the initiative to point out a few words above so that you can see a clearer picture!  Sarah was considered “holy” and “trusted in God”.   She served and submitted herself so much to God, and knew her reverence to her husband that she called Abraham lord (emphasize the lower case l !)  There is much to be said about Sarah, and one day I will probably write about her and what a great Kingdom Wife she truly was, but that is for another day!

Sarah understood what it was to a kingdom wife in God’s kingdom, and so we are to imitate her reverence and the worship she had before her husband, because in this she was accounted as a holy woman, and her main reason was that she trusted God.  The only way to get to trust anyone is to build a relationship with them, and Sarah had just that.  The more you begin to seek out God and spend time with Him and throw all your worries, hurt and cares upon his throne room at His feet and then let His love wash over you, the more you will begin to trust Him and begin to long for Him and desire to worship Him in all you do, even in your marriage and your household.  Put your relationship with God first and the highest priority in all your day and I assure you, that your relationship in your marriage (and personal relationships if not married) will change because you will begin to change; you will become more and more Christ-minded, therefore, becoming holy in your behavior just as Christ was holy while he walked the earth and was given as an example for us to follow!

“To increase the quality of your marriage, you must first increase the quality of time you spend with your heavenly Father and put that relationship first”     – Kingdom Daughter

Ladies above all things; to become a woman that is holy we must first seek out the one who is Holy and in doing so we will become like Him in all we do, and we will find joy in serving our husbands and having reverence for our husbands!  Since God has placed this on my heart I have had time to practice what I preach, and I am astounded at the change in my marriage and the change in myself more than anything!  I am becoming exactly whom my heart has desired for all these years, all simply because I am seeking God first and putting Him first in all I do, and submitting all things to my husband as the head and I know that in me doing this and choosing to subject all thoughts to the obedience of Christ, I am honoring God in my marriage.

Seek God in all you do and you will notice your behavior will begin to shift into the holiness which is Christ Jesus and you will begin to imitate Him in all you do, including how you serve your husband!  One last thing I have to add to this, since I have begun doing this I have been noticing things about my husband I have never noticed before, probably because I was so self-involved and trying to control my household in my way of doing things, that I neglected to see the beauty in my husband and the blessings he has to offer in our marriage and household! But since I am practicing every day to look through the eyes and heart of my Lord Jesus Christ, I am able to see these blessings and see my husbands heart, and in that, I am falling in love with him all over again! Thank you, Jesus!

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3 thoughts on “Why your Holiness matters to your marriage

  1. habitationhusband July 27, 2018 — 11:23 am

    Good stuff! Especially because I’m the beneficiary of it 😝


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